Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Urban Legends


Hey guys!

Ok so how many of you have heard of Urban Legends?

No not the piece of shit film, the legends themselves?

There are plenty out there:

The woman being chased in her car by someone who she thinks is trying to hurt her, only to find out he was trying to warn her about a dude with an axe hiding in her back seat.

The baby crocodile that was flushed down the toilet and now lives down there growing to a huge size because of all the toxic chemicals.

The phone call threatening the babysitter's life only she finds out that the call came from inside the house.

The old woman who gets her hand licked by her cat during the night, however she goes to the bathroom and finds her cat dead and bloody in the shower, so what was licking her hand?

These are all examples of urban legends and for the most part they are completely false.

I mean just think about it, whenever you hear about them who does the storyteller say it happened to? It's never them! It's never even a close personal friend!

No it's a friend of a friend of a friend of a fucking friend!

Maybe at the most it's 'a room mate my sister once had'. Either way it is not a qualitative source.

Why is this? Well I've already told you. Because it's always bullshit!

And yet despite this we still tell these stories. Why?

One reason might be because of the plausibility.

We hear about a dude with an axe, we think that it's possible that could happen.

We hear about a dude killing a cat and hiding under a bed. Again that's not impossible!

Fuck! Even crocodiles are real, and it wasn't that long ago we were getting all sorts of fucked up reports of two headed sheep out of Chenoble.

Today is the age of the urban legends as these stories replace the ghost stories of old. Rewind a good 30, maybe 50 years ago and everyone had heard of people like MR James. They were the Steven King or even the JK Rowling of their days, but nowerdays all people seem to be interested in are those fucking sparkling shits and the crazy knife dudes.

I won't lie, there are crazy knife dudes out there and on more than one occasion I've had the fortunate task of putting them out of their madness-induced misery but other than the occasional mad doctor and crazy inbred family, these have been few and far between.

What's strange? You investigate the haunted legends; the houses that are crippled by the spirits of the victims of horrible murders and what not, now they very often turn out to be real.

Yeah I know how it sounds, and sure the truth is often twisted a little to make it more entertaining for the audience, but it's there if you look for it.

It's almost ironic really, where we used to tell tales of the aftermath of horrific murders, now we tell tales of the murders themselves.

Maybe there's something to that...

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