>>>>>>PREPARING DEPOT FOR RECEIPT
It's been a quiet few days here in Camden and I'm getting a little tired of all this fucking heat.
So I've been thinking about the job I do.
Well, I guess I should say one of the jobs I do. This job in question is my trouble shooting for The Company.
In the past 18 months or so I have seen a lot of trouble; Zeds, Wendigo, Mummies, Giant Bugs, Ghouls, Mindless Cultists, Vamps, Wolves, fuck! Even fucking super soldiers out of fucking Return to Castle Wolfenstein!
I got thinking; why am I so adept at it?
The average person thinks twice about killing something, very often even in a me versus them situation, but I never have.
You remember when I told you about the Surrey incident? While everyone else was trying to reason with the living dead, trying to see if there was anyone left in the rotting cranium who they could save? Hell by then I had already hacked into a secure firearms stash I knew of and liberated a few fire arms and shotguns and was already taking names like a boss!
I don't know if it was the fact that I had engineered back doors into the Force's security, pulling off the retrieval with my pizzazz, or perhaps the dispatching of those damned Zeds, but something I did attracted the attention of both The Company and the Bees.
Next thing I know my body becomes supercharged with hippy power and retroviruses engineered to make me super efficient at what strangely came naturally to me before.
Shit! I don't question what happened after then, I mean when you've had your metabolism boosted to a degree that you need to drink fizzy drinks to stop you burning out and all the time having a body that a CK model would be envious of... Fuck you just don't question that do you?
But I'm left thinking about what came before all of this...
Yes I built a back door into my Forces' security in the case I needed to, but why?
I mean who in their right mind gets a job with law enforcement and then goes about setting up contingencies in case they need access to fire arms, drugs, equipment and personal records? It's crazy!
Then you have the Surrey incident itself...
Now tell me, if you read in the local paper or saw on the local news about some dude attacking and eating some other dude, what would you think?
A sensible, logical person thinks it's someone junked up on PCP or something similar, they move on to the next news story and their lives is normally no different.
I read that same article, only difference was I was living down the road from where it happened. I had heard that shit go down the night before as it was loud, and I mean fucking loud!
All the same, what did I do? I activates my contingency plan! I went straight for HQ, accessed the gun cache, nabbed me some basic riot gear and ventured back into the madness!
Of course by then what the news was still downplaying as a riot against some youth centre being shut down or what not had turned into a fucking zombie invasion!
The fuckers were everywhere and if it wasn't for my stash I had nabbed there would have been a lot more casualties then there was.
But that doesn't really explain it does it? That doesn't explain why I did any of that shit or why it felt so natural to do so.
Fuck man! I mean I've seen a lot of stuff on TV, those criminal investigation program's where they follow some dude's psych profile to establish their motives and mental state. What if that's what's going on here?
I mean shit! What if the reason I built my contingency plan was because I knew that I needed to be prepared for this sort of crap?
What if I started firing when everyone else was cowering in fear was because I was doing what I was built to do?
What if underneath it all I'm just a stone cold killer? A psychopath willing to do anything and everything to get what I want?
Hell, that sounds to me like the perfect recruit for The Company! Someone who will put a bullet through your eyes just as soon as smile at you...
No that can't be... If it was then how would anyone explain Her... No that can't be it...
I dunno guys, I guess I'm just scared you know? What if the reason I was picked for all of this; be it by The Company or the Bees, is because when you strip away all the pretence I'm actually no different to what I hunt, only I'm more malleable...
Who knows, maybe in years to come someone will have to put an anima bullet through my brain as well...
Still... We'll always have Venice...
>>HAVE A NICE DAY