Friday, 13 June 2014





So you want to hear about the fire team? Well why didn't you say so?

Oh of course, because you never say [CENSORED] in these sessions.

Ok well before I start, how about you tell me why we don't have a better name? I mean [CENSORED]! Fire Team 879 or whatever piece of [CENSORED] designation we have, is a really boring name! Why not The A-Team?


Omega Force?


Ok, how about The Freedom Phalanx?

Oh come on! Anything's better than our designation! I'd even take The [CENSORED] Superdudes!

No! I can see that look in your eyes! Don't you [CENSORED] think of using that piece of [CENSORED] name!

[CENSORED]! [REDACTED] is going to kill me!

Ok well there's me, your loveable geek, I guess I play the role of the hacker; only with less rollerblades.

No? Ok maybe that film was before your time.

How old are you anyway? I can never tell with you suit dudes.

Ok, so I can hack nearly anything, it's a gift I've always had and something that has helped me get by.

Of course it doesn't end there, I can also read Demonic.

[LAUGHTER] It's funny really, to me it's like reading code, I can almost feel the same parts of my brain flairing up and quietening down, like whatever number the combo of bees and whatever [CENSORED]-job you did on my brain managed to rewire my [CENSORED] so I can read certain coding.

Anyway, I guess I'm just a troubled soul who's intentions are good, yeah? Is that what you wanted to hear?

Oh yeah, and the box, of course I took the box! I mean I wanted to know what the [CENSORED] was in the box! I'm like Tom Cruise man! You can't give me a box and then expect me not to want to know what's in it!

Wait, that wasn't Tom Cruise? [CENSORED]!

So who's next? Well there's emo boy! You know [REDACTED].

I mean I give him [CENSORED], I mean [CENSORED] before he met me he hadn't heard of Google! Who the [CENSORED] hasn't heard of Google?

But truth be told the kid's alright. I mean better than alright. All day I give him [CENSORED] but despite that I know he has my back.

And he can conjure lightning! And a [CENSORED] hammer! The dude's [CENSORED] Thor man!

I guess I'm a little envious of him, I'm only a few years older, but it's like he's got his whole life ahead of him while in a few months time I'll be turning 30!

[CENSORED] man... Thirty! Where's it all go?

I guess you want to hear about Agent [REDACTED] too?

I guess you could say she's my rock in all this. When everything goes to [CENSORED] she's there to make sure I don't fall over.

[LAUGHS] it's funny really. You know a few weeks into our case we had to cross this bridge over some [CENSORED] up crossing to a lighthouse. And this bridge was high, I mean [CENSORED] [CENSORED] your pants high. As you probably know [REDACTED] had a bit of a fear of heights, so I did the gentlemanly thing, I held her hand and slowly crossed the bridge with her.

[LAUGHS] so there we are, crossing that bridge so high you feel like Michelangelo, you know? Like you're touching the finger of god? And I'm holding [REDACTED]'s hand as we cross the bridge, and suddenly I realise that all my cares are gone.

Seriously how messed up is that? All that [CENSORED] is Surrey, the Zed heads in Kingsmouth... [CENSORED] even the million high plunge below us into certain death. It was just [REDACTED] and I, and you know what? It felt... Right.

I guess that doesn't make much sense.


Well anyway, she has abilities that I've never seen before and conjuring green [CENSORED] ain't the half of it!

You know when [REDACTED] and I are at logged heads, testosterone and other pheromones flying every which way, she has the ability to get under your skin, defuse the situation and make two uncooperative boy-men work as a team! If that's not a super power then I don't know what the [CENSORED] is.

Oh the boxes?

Well they both said they took them. I mean why wouldn't they?

Do I trust them?

What sort of [CENSORED] question is that?

[REDACTED]? Do I trust her? Of course I do!

And Emo boy? I don't know yet.

[CENSORED]! That came out wrong!

I mean he's a great team member don't get me wrong, but he has issues, and I can see how easily it might be for those issues to lead you down the wrong path, you know? Making deals that perhaps you shouldn't?

I guess it takes one to know one...

Huh? Oh no... Nothing relevant...


No comments:

Post a Comment